dwelling nowhere

Laying flowers at the feet of our past selves.

Continuing our month of quiet practice, sinking deeply into cozy morning sits, more time spent following and drinking the tea, training this nervous system in the art of downshifting. A short piece on the inevitability of dwelling nowhere this week.

Consider:

You’ve been many humans. At each age, the outfits, the beliefs, the commitments, the hardship, the victories. Rather than thinking of your past selves as liabilities, with shame, might you instead honor your previous attempts to find safety and comfort in those ways and places?

Are you willing to lay flowers at the feet of your past selves and disappear into your truest service?

dwelling nowhere

brown edges on electric yellow leaves,
landing on earth, these

silent

forever

sounds

i remember an eager, tender girl,
glasses, pigtails, heart of service.
laying flowers at her innocent feet
as i let her, and the past,
disappear.
the joy of acceptance;
dwelling nowhere.

a brazen, shameless woman,
lying, numbing, hiding.
laying flowers at her careless feet
as i let her, and the past,
disappear.
the practice of letting go,
dwelling nowhere.

an earnest, trembling mother,
trying, failing, easing.
laying flowers at her tender feet.
letting her, and the past,
disappear.
the relief of disappearing;
dwelling nowhere.

Above, images by Pete Longworth.

And thank you Emory and Trevor Hall for this track, and Deva Shantay for introducing me to it. I have been a thousand different women. The idea of offering them flowers, honey and my silence stops my heart in the best way.

Below, this week’s meditation is a reading of the poem, with a pocket of silence, recorded for you in the stillness of morning time yesterday.

But first, you’re invited to join me in supporting Gerard’s House, our local grief center for children and families, in honor of my birthday. At the close of the month I’ll report back as to how we did, I’m thankful and excited.

Those who’ve lost someone to death, incarceration or otherwise can come and sit in circle at Gerard’s House to be heard and seen, a true place of bearing witness. I’ve received their thirty-hour training and will be offering service there over the coming years. Any amount helps immensely for this project. Thank you. Donate here.

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