Elena kindly encouraged me to share a reflection I had sent her privately, and I’m grateful for the invitation.
It emerged from a recent moment of clarity in my practice—around the nature of self, and the way our sense of “I” arises from interdependent conditions. I’m still integrating it and slowly finding the words, but wanted to offer it here in case it speaks to anyone else.
This realisation came through the slow, often painful unraveling—and from living through the very circumstances I touched on in the poem.
Earlier this week, there was a moment when I experienced what felt like a deep insight into the nature of self—specifically, how the cohesive “I” I’ve long believed in is really just a web of conditions: sensations, perceptions, emotions, thoughts, memories, relational dynamics… all constantly shifting.
It became clearer that there is no solid self behind these patterns—only interdependent threads. The more tightly those threads are held, the more real the self seems. But when even one is softened or seen clearly, the whole structure begins to loosen.
It shifted how I relate to effort and identity. I saw how much of my striving—even the wish to become “a better person”—was rooted in the belief in a fixed self that must be improved or corrected. That insight felt freeing, but also disorienting. My mind now seems to reassert itself with even more urgency—striving, fixing, planning—as though it senses its illusion being named.
I’m still learning how to live from this space. I still need to show up—to support myself, to write, to build—but I now sit with a different question: how do I honour this insight without turning it into another subtle form of self-improvement? How do I stay close to it, even when the clarity fades and the mind grows restless again?
It’s all very alive—sometimes painful, sometimes quiet and luminous. And I’m learning how to hold it.
Later today, I’ll be sharing a deeper exploration of this insight—drawn from recent journal pages—on Stacking Stones. Perhaps it may support some of you in being with your own unravelings.
Your words have and continue to touch my soul deeply. I appreciate your sharing of this tender time of your life and send you love and compassion. May the mystery of our collective unraveling carry us all to deeper depths of being, with love. Heartfelt gratitude for your insights, inspiration and soulful writings.
Thank you so much for your kind words and presence, dear Lee 🤍 It means a lot to feel seen and supported in this moment, and to know that my words are being received. Grateful we’re walking this path together!
Sweet love Justyna, I especially loved your poem, where you spoke of the darkness inside where it’s so dark even you cannot see it. A place of rest. Thank you. 🩷💜🩷
“I’m still in the classroom of heartbreak, still doing my homework.” I love how simple and clear these words feel. Thank you for your words touched my heart!
Thank you so much, dear Melissa, for taking the time to read and for opening your heart to be touched 🤍 Vulnerability always takes courage, even when it exposes us only to ourselves.
“The impulse to grasp is precisely what evokes the feeling of lack.” - beautifully said and a lesson learned for me as well. As I also walk with my father towards his life transition, I feel your words deeply. Thank you for this piece. It landed right in my heart. Sending you love and sweetness.
Thank you so much for your words, dear Alyssa—they mean a lot to me. I’m moved that this piece resonated with you, especially as you accompany your father through such a profound chapter. Holding your heart—and his—in mine during this tender time. Sending you love and quiet strength 🤍
thank you for lighting the way, for we will all be called to care for our loved ones sooner or later. Your honesty and grace inspire me. sending love and support. xoxo
Thank you for this generous note, dear Nancy. You’re right, we all walk each other home in different ways. I’m grateful these words could offer something along the way. Sending love and warmth right back to you 🤍
Like a lotus 🪷 with hands and mind firmly in dirt and cold waters..transmuting this with courage and an open heart into a beautiful 🌺 flower emitting love and giving life unconditionally. Justyna, I pray 🙏 that your father feels that 💕..that allows and any guilt to be released..and the light of forgiveness to enter the body and release the soul back into the ether.. these times can be v challenging..but also one of the most beautiful and transcendent experiences available to help somebody pass through the gates.. both for them and you.. I've experienced such a shamanic "experience" with my father passing.. when we become a channel for god's work, we too are nourished.. you are not alone !
Thank you for this moving reflection. Your words hold such depth, tenderness, and truth. The image of the lotus in cold waters feels especially alive in me right now. Sending love and gratitude for your presence and the path you’ve walked 🙏
Thank you for sharing your heart, Justyna. I share a similar experience in care taking for my father, whose health is fragile and unstable. Your writing and poem brought me comfort. I especially loved,
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, dear Erin. It means a lot to know the words offered you even a moment of comfort. I’m holding your father and your heart in my thoughts — these tender, uncertain times ask so much of us. I’m grateful we can find small bridges of connection through them 🤍
Thank you, Elena, for bringing this to us! And thank you Justyna - for sharing these thoughts and feelings - this poetry. Such a kind, loving and articulate soul whose wisdom is full of inspiration....
Dear Leon, I'm grateful for your kindness and for reading! And yes, Elena held this sharing with such presence, care, and quiet resonance… I’m still moved.
Elena kindly encouraged me to share a reflection I had sent her privately, and I’m grateful for the invitation.
It emerged from a recent moment of clarity in my practice—around the nature of self, and the way our sense of “I” arises from interdependent conditions. I’m still integrating it and slowly finding the words, but wanted to offer it here in case it speaks to anyone else.
This realisation came through the slow, often painful unraveling—and from living through the very circumstances I touched on in the poem.
Earlier this week, there was a moment when I experienced what felt like a deep insight into the nature of self—specifically, how the cohesive “I” I’ve long believed in is really just a web of conditions: sensations, perceptions, emotions, thoughts, memories, relational dynamics… all constantly shifting.
It became clearer that there is no solid self behind these patterns—only interdependent threads. The more tightly those threads are held, the more real the self seems. But when even one is softened or seen clearly, the whole structure begins to loosen.
It shifted how I relate to effort and identity. I saw how much of my striving—even the wish to become “a better person”—was rooted in the belief in a fixed self that must be improved or corrected. That insight felt freeing, but also disorienting. My mind now seems to reassert itself with even more urgency—striving, fixing, planning—as though it senses its illusion being named.
I’m still learning how to live from this space. I still need to show up—to support myself, to write, to build—but I now sit with a different question: how do I honour this insight without turning it into another subtle form of self-improvement? How do I stay close to it, even when the clarity fades and the mind grows restless again?
It’s all very alive—sometimes painful, sometimes quiet and luminous. And I’m learning how to hold it.
Later today, I’ll be sharing a deeper exploration of this insight—drawn from recent journal pages—on Stacking Stones. Perhaps it may support some of you in being with your own unravelings.
You can read it here: https://stackingstones.substack.com/p/river-self
Thank you Justyna also. We are blessed to have you and Elena amidst our numbers here on Substack.
Thank you so much, dear Andō. I am honoured and so happy to have been invited into this loving community 🤍
Dear Justyna,
Your words have and continue to touch my soul deeply. I appreciate your sharing of this tender time of your life and send you love and compassion. May the mystery of our collective unraveling carry us all to deeper depths of being, with love. Heartfelt gratitude for your insights, inspiration and soulful writings.
Thank you so much for your kind words and presence, dear Lee 🤍 It means a lot to feel seen and supported in this moment, and to know that my words are being received. Grateful we’re walking this path together!
Sweet love Justyna, I especially loved your poem, where you spoke of the darkness inside where it’s so dark even you cannot see it. A place of rest. Thank you. 🩷💜🩷
It is the Sweet Darkness, as David Whyte named it :)
Thank you, dear Amy, for your gift of time and attention 🤍
Simply stunning and upon reading, and listening, to these words a resonance of understanding throbs, and swells, in my heart. Thank you xoxo
Carolyn, thank you so much for taking the time to read, and for allowing yourself to be moved 🤍
Thank you Justyna! So beautifully versed for us! Sending you love and strength as you graciously continue your challenging but beautiful journey.
Thank you so much for your kind words and presence!
Sending love and gentleness your way as well, wherever you are on your own path 🤍
"Learning to give from a place of overflow, not depletion—true giving is not so much an act, it’s a state of being." Thank you ❤️
Thank you, Natalia 🤍 I believe that what we offer can simply be an extension of who we are—not something we must extract from ourselves.
“I’m still in the classroom of heartbreak, still doing my homework.” I love how simple and clear these words feel. Thank you for your words touched my heart!
Thank you so much, dear Melissa, for taking the time to read and for opening your heart to be touched 🤍 Vulnerability always takes courage, even when it exposes us only to ourselves.
Oh, gratitude for these words! Simple and lovely ☺️ love ❤️
Grateful for your kindness and generosity of time and attention, dear Darcy! 🤍
“The impulse to grasp is precisely what evokes the feeling of lack.” - beautifully said and a lesson learned for me as well. As I also walk with my father towards his life transition, I feel your words deeply. Thank you for this piece. It landed right in my heart. Sending you love and sweetness.
Thank you so much for your words, dear Alyssa—they mean a lot to me. I’m moved that this piece resonated with you, especially as you accompany your father through such a profound chapter. Holding your heart—and his—in mine during this tender time. Sending you love and quiet strength 🤍
Sending that right back to you, Justyna. 💕
Thank you 🤍
thank you for lighting the way, for we will all be called to care for our loved ones sooner or later. Your honesty and grace inspire me. sending love and support. xoxo
Thank you for this generous note, dear Nancy. You’re right, we all walk each other home in different ways. I’m grateful these words could offer something along the way. Sending love and warmth right back to you 🤍
Like a lotus 🪷 with hands and mind firmly in dirt and cold waters..transmuting this with courage and an open heart into a beautiful 🌺 flower emitting love and giving life unconditionally. Justyna, I pray 🙏 that your father feels that 💕..that allows and any guilt to be released..and the light of forgiveness to enter the body and release the soul back into the ether.. these times can be v challenging..but also one of the most beautiful and transcendent experiences available to help somebody pass through the gates.. both for them and you.. I've experienced such a shamanic "experience" with my father passing.. when we become a channel for god's work, we too are nourished.. you are not alone !
Thank you for this moving reflection. Your words hold such depth, tenderness, and truth. The image of the lotus in cold waters feels especially alive in me right now. Sending love and gratitude for your presence and the path you’ve walked 🙏
Such a beautiful beautiful poem and heart. Thank you.🤍
Dear Ian, how good to see you here! Thank you so, so much. Your words never fail to pour love all over my heart 🙏
So so beautiful Justyna. Thank you Elena for holding her precious offering with such tenderness.
Thank you for sharing your heart, Justyna. I share a similar experience in care taking for my father, whose health is fragile and unstable. Your writing and poem brought me comfort. I especially loved,
“Another thing
that knows no limit, even
if it brings us to ours,
is love.”
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, dear Erin. It means a lot to know the words offered you even a moment of comfort. I’m holding your father and your heart in my thoughts — these tender, uncertain times ask so much of us. I’m grateful we can find small bridges of connection through them 🤍
Namaste
🙏
So beautiful, such sweetness and so much truth felt in Justyna's powerful words
Thank you, Amanda! I really appreciate you reading 🤍
Subscribed to your page and looking forward to reading more of your heartfelt writing 💗✨
Oh how wonderful! Welcome 🤍 I hope you feel at home there :)
Thank you, Elena, for bringing this to us! And thank you Justyna - for sharing these thoughts and feelings - this poetry. Such a kind, loving and articulate soul whose wisdom is full of inspiration....
Dear Leon, I'm grateful for your kindness and for reading! And yes, Elena held this sharing with such presence, care, and quiet resonance… I’m still moved.
Thank you also, Elena, for the beautiful painting, and for the wonderful reading of Justyna's sublime poem!